NOTE: While not exactly a raid/story report. This little interlude has been stuck in my head and needed to come out. It’s not super fancy, and a little something different for me.
Filtering by Category: Heroic Raiding
...and also, this is how I make up for my lack of raid reporting for Antorus. Sorry, ya'll.
BOSS MAN PALADIN walks into Aurane's office. His first thought was she was hiding behind the stacks of papers, but she was not to be found, only piles of papers everywhere. He grabs a stack off her desk and glances at it.
"What is this?", he whispers, and begins to read.
OH MY GADGETS! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!?!
** A clearly angry gnome stands in the doorway **
BOSS MAN PALADIN: I was um (quickly hides papers behind his back), looking for you, and wondering if, um....(gathering composure) I was wondering where you have been and what happened to the raid reports?
AURANE: And not respecting one's privacy, I might add.
BOSS MAN PALADIN: Well, you didn't answer any of my messages. What was I supposed to do? What is this? (pulling the papers from behind his back) It's not a raid report.
AURANE (glances at his hand and snatches the papers away, clutching them to her chest): It's...my screenplay.
BOSS MAN PALADIN (blinking): You're....screenplay?
AURANE: Yes, I've been trying to get in on this new film project in Gadgetzan.
BOSS MAN PALADIN: It's not the goblins again, is it?
AURANE (shoots BOSS MAN a quick glare): DON'T! They aren't all bad, ya know.
BOSS MAN PALADIN: Fine. What's this project you are so excited about.
** They are interrupted by a rather gruff worgen mailman. **
WORGEN: Priority envelope for you Aurane.
AURANE (squeals): Oh! This might be it! (leaps over a stack of papers and grabs the envelope from the worgen who huffs and walks off to his next delivery).
AURANE rips open the envelope, eyes wide reading, then re-reading. Face frozen.
BOSS MAN PALADIN: Well?
AURANE: Oh, you're still here? I'M IN!!!! /happy dance
BOSS MAN PALADIN: What does that mean? Are you coming with us next week or?
AURANE: Oh no, but don't worry. I already took care of everything in case this happened. I've got someone lined up to cover the raid reports. He's a good guy. I think you'll like him. You two have a lot in common.
BOSS MAN PALADIN: Yes but...
AURANE: Did I show you the trailer we made?
BOSS MAN PALADIN: No, but, we really should discuss..
AURANE: Hang on! It's around here somewhere (sounds of shuffling paper)....FOUND IT!
BOSS MAN PALADIN: Aurane, I...
** They watch **
** a moment of silence **
BOSS MAN PALADIN: Aurane, we are going...
AURANE: CRAP! Is that the time? I gotta go pack. GADGETZAN awaits!
** Aurane runs out of the room **
BOSS MAN PALADIN: ...to miss you. /sigh
TO BE CONTINUED...see you in Battle for Azeroth!
AURANE (to the team): Ok gang, I've managed to procure us some goggles for this next fight. They are in beta testing so please make sure to fill out the survey cards after we are done and DON'T stare directly at the floor until we reach full eclipse or you'll burn your eyes out, savvy?
BOSS MAN SHAMAN: A little harsh don't you think?
AURANE: Do you want to pay the medical bills when the team goes blind?
BOSS MAN SHAMAN: Ok, fair point, but I have another concern.
AURANE: What's up?
BOSS MAN SHAMAN: *pulls out a flyer*
BOSS MAN SHAMAN: Goblin Engineers?
AURANE: Look, they aren't that bad. I told them I'd do them a favor in exchange for the goggles. They've been trying to break back into the Alliance market ever since that unfortunate Theramore incident. I warned them officially signing with the Horde was going to be bad for profits. Don't worry boss, everything will be fine.
BOSS MAN SHAMAN: If you're sure.
**INSERT EPIC SISTERS OF THE MOON BATTLE HERE**
RANDOM TEAM SHOUTS AFTER:
That eclipse was AWESOME!
I've never experienced anything like that!
I can't believe how cold it got when it was at full eclipse.
That was the most magical thing.
When is the next one?
BOSS MAN SHAMAN: So what did you think of the eclipse, Aurane?
AURANE: It was ok, I guess. I didn't get much of a chance to enjoy it with all the running around and healing and, well, you know, trying to keep the team alive.
BOSS MAN SHAMAN: What if I told you the room will have another eclipse shortly? And there will be no Sisters to have to worry about this time.
BOSS MAN SHAMAN: Ok everyone, mage portal please. Back to Dalaran, we have to fill out these survey cards for the goggles. If you wish to keep your goggles they are being offered to us at a special price. *winks at Aurane*
**TEAM PORTALS OFF**
AURANE: Thanks boss man.
FIERY MAGE: Well, we can't just leave it here. It's already starting to stink.
AURANE: Hang on, I have a connection that can help us.
Aurane pulls out a goblin ultrasafe transponder and punches in a number
AURANE: Hey Karasshi, it's me. It's been awhile. How's the business?
Silence, nods, mmhmms while other person on device talks
AURANE: Look, I've got a lead on something that may interest you if you can come pick it up. Send the boys. I'm sure Little Lu would love it. He's probably dying for some adventure by now.
More silence, nods, mmhmms while other person on device talks
AURANE: Nah, nah, this one is fresh, but he won't stay that way. How soon can you be here?
Still more silence, nods, mmhmms while other person on device talks
AURANE: Excellent, I'll leave someone at the door to show you where the body is. Don't worry, they are trustworthy people. Pleasure doing business with you, my friend.
Aurane hangs up the transponder.
AURANE: Ok, we're good.
FIERY MAGE: Who was that?
AURANE: My cleaner.
FIERY MAGE: Should I be concerned?
Aurane winks and skips off towards the Demonic Inquisition.
FIERY MAGE: Mmmmhmmm...
- THE NEXT DAY -
BOSS MAN SHAMAN: Glad to see things went well yesterday while I was gone.
AURANE: Yup, it was pretty smooth sailing, just a couple of bumps. MAGE & I held down the fort pretty well.
BOSS MAN SHAMAN: What about the Bear?
AURANE: I guess he left *shrug*.
BOSS MAN SHAMAN: No he didn't he's right over there. *points right over there*
AURANE: Nah, nah, that's some new guy. I thought you hired him before your vacation.
BOSS MAN SHAMAN: That's the Bear.
AURANE: Can't be. He's not fat enough, and he looks like a panda.
BOSS MAN SHAMAN: He IS a panda now. He's DPS and we have some new tank...
AURANE: *squints* Mmmmhmmm...more conversions? I knew that show was a bad idea.
Aurane throws her hands up in the air and storms off.
Boss Man Shaman sighs.
- LATER THAT NIGHT, AURANE IS HANDING OUT MEDICAL SUPPLIES -
AURANE (to the team): Now don't forget to put the salve on the quill punctures and the lotion on the torment burns. NOT the other way around. Oh, and the free dinner coupon is only good through this week.
BOSS MAN SHAMAN: Free dinner coupon?
Hands BOSS MAN SHAMAN a flyer.
AURANE: It's Karasshi's thank you for throwing some business his way. Those jinyu sure know their fish. Speaking of which...phew...I need a bath. I smell like last night's dead Harjatan with some demon stench thrown in. Blech. I'll catch up with you guys later when we confront the Sisters.
- SOMEWHERE IN HARJATAN'S ROOM -
Then suddenly the vision was gone, replaced by the sound of muffled voices, darkness, then a light blue mist slowly becoming visible.
FIERY MAGE: Careful now, there may be some slight side effects with longer exposures.
AURANE: Whoah, I don't feel so good.
FIERY MAGE: *points to conveniently placed bucket*
AURANE: *retches into bucket, then composes herself and stands up*
FIERY MAGE: So, what were your thoughts?
AURANE: That.was.AWESOME! I mean, it was SO real. It was like REALLY being there. I mean, like, the WHOLE raid. This new alternate reality magic is pretty cool.
FIERY MAGE: We're still putting the final touches on it, but we feel it will definitely be the next step in raid training, providing an immersive learning experience.
AURANE: I can't wait to tell the team! We all need to go! This will make tomb raiding SO much easier.
FIERY MAGE: I'll grab the calendar and see what days we have open. Let's get everyone on the schedule.
- SOME TIME LATER, OUTSIDE HEROIC TOMB OF SARGERAS -
AURANE: Ok gang, just remember your training and we will get through this. This first boss is no big deal. It'll be just like in the training simulation. Keep calm. We've got this.
- A FEW MOMENTS LATER -
AURANE: Well, one heroic boss down. *falls over* That was harder than expected.
BOSS MAN SHAMAN: Did you run the heroic simulation?
AURANE: There was an heroic simulation?
BOSS MAN SHAMAN: *nods his head*
- Congrats Troublemakers on finishing off normal Tomb of Sargeras and starting heroic!
AURANE: Why are we back here exactly?
SHAMDOG: *tilts head* mruf!
AURANE: I mean, I thought we were done with this place. What is Boss Man thinking?
SHAMDOG: *tilts head other way* mrrrrrr...
AURANE: Yeah, yeah...completionism. I get that, but seriously Odyn again?
AURANE: Shut up, Odyn! I still have nightmares about all that Helya tentacle touching from last time.
AURANE: I know, right! Elune help us if we aren't massively over-geared for this. I mean we should just be able to go in there and mash the crap out those guys, right?
SHAMDOG: *scratches himself behind the ears*
AURANE: Alright, let's get this over with. We'd better go in. The team is waiting. I hope we never have to come back here again.
ODYN: BUT YOU ARE SO WORTHY!
SHAMDOG: Woof! *and runs off towards the entrance*
AURANE: *stops and thinks to herself for a moment* Man I hope that was the shaman. Otherwise I just spent the last few minutes talking to a dog.
AURANE: *points at Odyn* DON'T!!!
*Aurane joins the rest of the team*
- LATER -
AURANE: aaand, another picture for the scrapbook...
AURANE: Now to go make some more preparations for the Tomb. *Hums to herself* Hmm Hmm HMM Hmm...Hmm, Hmm, hmm...
* collective voices *
"Too much pain!"
HFAR (translation: Hunter from another realm): I must construct additional pylons.
STARRY-EYED WARLOCK: Where did he get all those souls?
AURANE: WE DID IT! This place is OURS! I'm thinking this platform will make an excellent helipad for our exclusive VIP, and dare I say, richer guests. I can't wait to..
BOSS MAN PALADIN: Excuse me Aurane, but Khadgar would like a word with you.
AURANE: Wait, what? Me? Why?
BMP: I believe he wants to congratulate you personally.
AURANE: No way! I best not keep him waiting then.
* walks up to Khadgar *
AURANE: You wanted to see me, sir?
KHADGAR: Why, yes! I hear you have been quite the little money maker on this endeavor.
AURANE: Well, I don't want to brag, but yes. I never thought it would be so simple to milk this place. I mean it was just too easy...
KHADGAR: Well, I'm sure our Nightfallen friends will appreciate the gesture, and it's so gracious of your team to donate it all to their charity. I hear it was all your idea to raise the money.
AURANE: Yeah, I do have some pretty great ideas sometimes, wait, what? charity who?
KHADGAR: Your paladin friend over there gave us the check while you were busy with the loot. Well done, my friend.
AURANE: Paladin? * grimacing * Frrrriend?
KHADAR: Well, I must be off. I have to inform the Council of Six of your endeavors. Again, well done. Would you like to touch my robes?
AURANE: * through gritted teeth * NO!
KHADGAR: Very well then * poofs into a raven and flies off *
AURANE: * mumbly growl * I'm SO going to kill him!
- SOMETIME LATER -
* Boss Man Paladin enters *
BMP: Are you ok?
BMP: Can I sit down?
BMP: If it makes you feel any better, our contract strictly said we were only eligible for the boss loot.
AURANE: It doesn't.
BMP: It was the right thing to do.
AURANE: Don't care.
* long drawn out silence and lots of staring into the distance *
BMP: Sooooo, I heard about this Tomb. It's not far away.
BMP: Wanna raid it?
AURANE: * after some time * Yes!
BMP: * smiles * I'll assemble the team.
* cue music *
Thus concludes our Nighthold story. Stay tuned for more heroic tales from the Tomb of Sargeras.
Shout outs and thank yous to the entire team who made Ahead of the Curve possible for another tier. Whether it's feast mats, cauldron mats, vantus runes, lock rocks, swapblasters (ok, maybe not swapblasters), positive attitudes or general team camaraderie, you guys worked together as a team and we got the job done. <3 you guys!
See you in the Tomb!
BOSS MAN PALADIN: AURAAANE!!!
*pops head around corner*
AURANE: Yeah boss?
BMP: WHAT is going on in the Nightwell room? Why are there pots of, what is that, cream? all over the floor?
AURANE: I'm "infusing" them.
BMP: Infusing them for what?
*hands BOSS MAN PALADIN a flyer*
BMP: Face cream? Really?
AURANE: It's selling like hot cakes in Shal'Aran. I can't keep the stuff on the shelves. Thalyssra even bought one. I've got a whole sales team now, for every one they sell, we still get a cut.
BMP: Sounds an awful lot like a pyramid scheme, Aurane.
AURANE: Nah, nah...it's totally legit multi-level marketing.
AURANE: Here! Have a sample on the house. Give it to your girl...are paladins allowed to have...*shakes head* nevermind. Find a nice lady friend and give her a gift.
* gives BOSS MAN PALADIN a jar of Nourish™ and exits *
* looks at jar, opens it, smells it *
BMP: Smells nice, I guess...
* looks carefully around the room, then smudges a bit on his cheek and nods *
BMP: Smooth...and kinda tingly.
* shrugs and exits *